Call Me Higher

For the last few weeks I have had the song Called Me Higher (By All Sons and Daughters) stuck in my head.   The chosen words are so simple and yet so poignant:
"You have called me higher, You have called me deeper, and I'll go where you lead me Lord"

Over and over in my head those words echoed.   Over and over I thought "Yes Lord, I really mean that, I will go where you lead me, wherever you lead, however you lead".   And truly I meant it.    Over the last few weeks a number of opportunities have come my way, and I found myself, without even thinking, picking through them, deciding which ones I wanted to do and which ones would be too hard, or too late, or not "right" for me.    And then I heard it.... The tender voice of the Lord gently remind me...."You said you would go wherever I lead you".     I realized in that moment that while I do have to maintain balance in my life with my family and work and responsibilities, my motive many times were not really for the Lord but more about me.    Isn't His grace amazing!   That even in our weakness He is faithful and good?

I have been reading through the book of Luke recently and noticed a few things I had never really noticed, or maybe payed attention to before.    The first thing I noticed was the greeting from the Angel.  His very first words to her, his greeting and introduction was "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
She was highly favored, I can't imagine the things that must have been going through her mind in those few moments.   The confusion, the honor, the fear....  Chosen to be the Mother of the Savior of the world.   That's a big job, but as I sat thinking about her, it made me realize, she was favored and chosen for a reason.   She was already walking with the Lord, and her relationship with God was so solid, so deep, that after the angel finished explaining everything to her, her response was simply "I am the Lord's servant, May your word to me be fulfilled".   No arguments, no excuses, no complaints.    And while this news was wonderful and meant hope for all mankind, there was still a tremendous amount of sacrifice, pain, sorrow, and fear waiting ahead for her.    She did not hesitate to accept the unknown, knowing that she was called by her Father for this beautiful role.    Her song in Luke chapter 1 says it all...

46 And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
47     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
49     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
50 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
    from generation to generation.
51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
    he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
    but has lifted up the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
    but has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
    remembering to be merciful
55 to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors.”

Our calling may not be as big as Mary's but we don't always get to choose.   If we are willing then we need to be willing no matter how unglamorous or inconvenient it may be.   If our desire, like Mary, is for the Lord's will to be done and His name to be glorified, then we have to trust His plan above our own....allow Him to use us however He chooses, and be willing to go wherever He leads us

.   May we have a heart willing to say yes without question, to know His ways are bigger then our ways, and to remain in a state where we can see beyond any inconvenience and sacrifice, to go where He Calls Us Higher.

The Front Lines

This past weekend I was scheduled to sing on a vocal team at my church.  Normally this is something I really look forward to.  For some reason this week I didn't feel the same sense of joy or excitement about it...in fact the whole weekend leading up to Sunday I struggled with feelings of depression and lack of motivation.  I know many who struggle with similar difficulties and am no stranger to a bad day...but this was different then anything I've experienced before.  I got up on Sunday morning just hoping to get through the day.  As I drove into the church parking lot that morning, I heard the Lord say "pray against depression this morning.  Pray for those who feel like you do.  Who are struggling to even get up and come to church today.   Those who feel hopeless and weary and tired.    Those who need joy".   And so I did...before each service I prayed.   And during worship I sang from a place on intervention for anyone in the room without the strength to sing or pray for themselves.  As people came forward during prayer time I asked the Lord to bring freedom and joy back to someone who had lost it.  To restore hope and energy to someone feeling hopeless and empty.  I prayed for healing from the weight of despair.  Unsure of who, but knowing the Lord knew.  Knowing that was enough.     I left church still feeling a sense of dread.     I arrived home and sat in the driveway.....waiting.    waiting for a shift in my own heart. Waiting for the weight to lift.   Weighting for a feeling of peace.    Finally I got out of the car and walked inside bracing myself for the rest of the day and within minutes it was as though the Lord reached down and lifted a huge weight off of me.  As though all of a sudden my whole world shifted.   Suddenly I felt complete peace.    Suddenly I felt unspeakable joy.   Suddenly, in that moment I knew exactly what the  Lord had done.    He had healed someone.   He had brought someone out of darkness.    And He allowed me to experience the whole thing so that I would be able to intercede....to press in, for that person, from within the trenches.     I spent the rest of the evening laughing....smiling, filled with such joy and rest.    Humbled that He would use me in such a way.   I keep praying for that person, whoever they are.   That they would continue to walk in hope and joy.   That they would continue to experience the Lord's presence.    And so thankful that we serve a God who loves us that much.          

Worship is so much more then song.  It is warfare and we are on the front lines when we praise Him.    I am thankful for this reminder.  I am thankful for the Lords grace.  

David said it best...

Psalm 29:

1

Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings,

    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

2 

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;

    worship the Lord in the splendor of his[a] holiness.

3 

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;

    the God of glory thunders,

    the Lord thunders over the mighty waters.

4 

The voice of the Lord is powerful;

    the voice of the Lord is majestic.

5 

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;

    the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.

6 

He makes Lebanon leap like a calf,

    Sirion[b] like a young wild ox.

7 

The voice of the Lord strikes

    with flashes of lightning.

8 

The voice of the Lord shakes the desert;

    the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh.

9 

The voice of the Lord twists the oaks[c]

    and strips the forests bare.

And in his temple all cry, “Glory!”

10 

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;

    the Lord is enthroned as King forever.

11 

The Lord gives strength to his people;

    the Lord blesses his people with peace.

Face to Face

Easter comes every year.   A beautiful reminder of the reason for the hope that we have in Christ.    I look forward to it every year for so many reasons, but this year, there was something so extra precious about it.    In the last few weeks my husband and I lost two friends.   Both tragic and unexpected.   Both young and seemingly healthy.   Both people who to the best of our knowledge, unbelievers.     I have struggled to come to terms with these losses because unlike a believers passing, there is little to feel but sadness.    I have been praying wholeheartedly that the Lord would draw near to the families and use these circumstances to somehow bring hope.    But I can't even imagine the pain without the joy of knowing my loved one is in the arms of the Father.    And that reminder for me, has made the Easter season that much sweeter.   It is the crux of it.    We have this hope!   We have the answer to the question of eternal life.  And on top of that, we are loved.   So loved that this very weekend we celebrate, not for chocolate bunnies or Easter baskets, we celebrate the ultimate gift.   The ultimate sacrifice.   The ultimate breaking of the great chain of death.     That God with such great love, would choose to give His only Son, and Jesus His son would choose to faithfully obey His Father, and be the sacrifice we needed.     John 14:29-31 says 

29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, 31 but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.

“Come now; let us leave.

These verses remind us that it was a choice.   God chose to send His son, and Jesus chose obedience unto death for us.   

This week as I dwell on the impact of this truth, I can't help but be reminded of the importance of sharing this good news.    I don't know weather or not our friends had been exposed to the truth and chose to reject it, or maybe at some point accepted and walked away.   Maybe there was a time when they truly excepted the Lord and are in heaven now....we will not know until our time comes.     But it made me think.    The apostles spread the Gospel worldwide without Facebook, Instagram, the internet, or any other form of connection.  They went out and preached the truth and people heard and believed.    They did not shy away from rejection or persecution but went out and spoke truth face to face.  And while the tools we have access to are great and can be used for so much good....are we hiding behind the ease of a perfectly phrased sentence, or timely image we share on special occasions instead of the vulnerability and raw nature of a real conversation?    It is so much easier to plan and prepare what you want to share.  Has this become how we witness?    I find myself sometimes realizing that I use my social media accounts as a bit of an excuse at times.   Like buying a salad to justify my fresh fries....a salad is great but does not undo the calories I consume in the french fries.     A post cannot do what a conversation can do.     Memes have there place, and they might even inspire, encourage, and uplift.   But true ministry happens when we get out of our comfort zones and spend time with people.   The truth is so much more powerful coming from the lips of a believer.  Unrehearsed, passionate, challenging... We have the biggest news mankind has ever known....and this past Sunday is a reminder of just how great our Savior is.....just how marvelous is His love for us.    We should tell the whole world...shout it from the rooftops!   Go and preach the good news!  And maybe....and I'm challenging myself in this as well....we should try it face to face.   

The Emotional Worship Conundrum

Tonight I went for a walk...kind of a later walk then I would normally take but I made the mistake of having Starbucks late in the day and thought it might help use up some of the lingering (albeit totally worth it) caffeine...As I was walking I looked up and noticed the absolutely breathtaking clear night sky filled to overflowing with so many brilliant stars, one could not count them in a lifetime.   A view I don't normally miss due to earlier walks.   All of a sudden I was completely overcome with gratitude.    Gratitude that the Lord would choose to, in all His glory and majesty, love us.    That with all His power and Majesty He still chose to sacrifice His son....that He would have done it all for even one of us.   It blows me away.  My eyes filled with tears and I spent the next few moments in thankful praise.       It brought to mind this question, What place does emotion have in a worship experience?     I recently have had a few different conversations with people about this topic.   One of those conversations was with my sister who visited from California recently.    We were discussing the worship service we attended at my church and she stated how she does not like emotional worship experiences because to her, worship isn't about the emotions but rather the act of praise, and sometimes the emotional piece of it can become a distraction or a forced reaction...and can also take away from the Biblical foundation because we base truth on how we feel rather then what the Bible says.    It really got me thinking about my own approach to worship, both leading and congregational.     It can be very easy to make emotion the focus....Letting emotion induce the atmosphere rather then the atmosphere induce emotion.   In other words, allowing the Holy Spirit to move and in His doing so, bring about a genuine emotional response, rather then forcing an emotional interaction with the Father to make oneself feel as though they had a true worship experience.    

  I googled the topic and at least a dozen articles popped up on the subject.   People questioning emotions in worship, people promoting or criticizing it...My personal take is this... I think that all people are different.   No two relationships with the Father are the same...and I believe as a result of this we all respond differently to the moving of His Spirit.     The key to a worship experience....music or otherwise, is that the presence of the Lord is there and that your heart be purposed to bring Him glory, show Him gratitude, and stand in a place of reverent expectation.    Whatever that may look like.  I do believe though, that in sweet moments with the Lord where He shows us more of His heart, or reveals something to us that we needed to hear, causing us to repent.   Or times when we feel close to Him and feel the warmth of His embrace, or spend time in intercession for another in need.... Some of these things can, and even should bring out an emotional response.     He is not reliant nor dependent on our emotional state.    He does not change because we feel Him more one day then the next.   He is not trying to be relevant or trendy.    He is everlasting and His love for us never changes.   But I do believe that when the Spirit moves, it can change our experience....it can help to move our heart towards Him....to soften a tough spot, to tear down a wall, to build a bridge or bring healing.     If we start out in worship with the intention of being brought to tears, then we are not really ready for what the Spirit has for us.   But remaining vulnerable to His moving, may just take us into new territory.   This morning during our worship service, there was a woman who was so overcome with joy that she spent much of one of the songs in laughter....it was the most precious thing and brought me to a place of joy because it was so evident that her laughter was the overflow of her heart.   Not a forced reaction but an involuntary response.   By nature I am an emotional person but I find it so contagious when those around me are filled with joy, gratitude, and reverence toward the Lord.   It even sometimes it can help to pull me out of a place of complacency, or distraction.    Psalm 98:4-9 says 

4

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth,

    burst into jubilant song with music;

5 

make music to the Lord with the harp,

    with the harp and the sound of singing,

6 

with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn—

    shout for joy before the Lord, the King.

7 

Let the sea resound, and everything in it,

    the world, and all who live in it.

8 

Let the rivers clap their hands,

    let the mountains sing together for joy;

9 

let them sing before the Lord,

    for he comes to judge the earth.

He will judge the world in righteousness

    and the peoples with equity 

Worship is the Bible has many uses, many places of prevalence and it is not always the cry for help or shout of joy.  Sometimes music is used as a weapon against the enemy and sometimes it is used as a battle cry.   Other times it is an overflow of praise to the King of Kings.   But I cannot help but wonder if there were not some tears of joy as this Psalm was sung.   If there wasn't some laughter as these words were lifted up the the Father.    He knows the heart of man....and if it is for Him, then let every tear, every cry, every laugh, every shout, be for His glory.

Benchmarking Our Ministry

Earlier this week I had to complete a training for my day job.   At first I was not thrilled as this training was in 5 parts and took around 6 hours to complete.    But it was required so I set aside some time and got it done.    In one of the sessions, it talked about different methods for measuring performance against the industry standards or industry "best in class".   Obviously, this pertains to my daily work however it really got me thinking about music and ministry.     One of the measuring tools I learned is called Benchmarking.   It's where other companies in the same type of work, consider you (or you them) the industry leader and Benchmark you as the goal to surpass.   The standard to achieve and reach beyond.   I started to think....How does this apply to ministry related work, and what does the Bible say about how we should pursue our ministry?
Hebrews 12:1 says
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.   And let us run with perseverance the race marked out before us"
A few things I noted in this passage.   First, we are to surrounded by cheerleaders.  Those who have gone before us.   They are cheering us on....providing a benchmark of faith and perseverance for us as we run our own race.   Second, we are to throw of everything that hinders and the sin that entangles us to run with perseverance.    A race cannot be finished without endurance.   We are not in this alone and we must strive to make it to the end, not half heartedly, but still going strong.   Lastly, It's the race marked out before us....our race is marked.   Marked by goals, marked by growth, marked by those who have already gone ahead.    I have run many races as an adult.   And while the race is up to me to complete, seeing the footsteps of those before you, can push you to keep going when you grow tired or week.  Like benchmarks to follow behind.
Then there is the parable of the men with the three servants in Matthew chapter 5 verses 14-30.  The Bible tells us that the master goes away for a time and entrusts his servants with money while he is gone.  One with 5 bags of silver, one with 2 and one with 1.    The man with 5 invests and earns 5 more, the man with 2 invests and earns 2 more and the man with one is afraid and buries his in the ground.   When the master returns he is pleased with the first 2 men and angry with the third because he did not reap a harvest from the money.  He calls his "wicked and lazy".    In this scenario, the man with the 5 bags is the benchmark.   Although the man with 2 bags had less, they both made the most of what they had by doubling profits, and were both given more responsibilities.  I imagine that maybe the man with two bags may have looked at the man with 5 and followed his lead, knowing that he was wise and trust worthy.   The man with one....perhaps intimidated that he received the least.  Perhaps unmotivated because he figured he was not as trusted as the other two servants.   Perhaps he thought "what is one more bag for the master who is so rich already?" so he decided not to bother.   He decided to keep the money safe without using it for good.   If he instead had pushed himself, if he had instead chosen to follow the path of the other servants, he would have pleased his master and received more responsibilities as a good and faithful servant.

As a little girl, I dreamed of one day taking that stage, at the Dove Awards, or Grammy's and accepting an award for song of the year or perhaps new artist of the year (don't lie, you've made up fake speeches too)...As I got older I began to feel that not only was this a long shot dream but perhaps even a frivolous one.   I began to feel guilty even thinking about it or being at all motivated by it.    But here's the thing....I am realizing that setting a benchmark for myself, while not the purpose or sole motivation of my ministry, does push me.   It does make me work harder, practice harder, pay more attention to the craft.    It's easy to get lazy.....it's easy to make excuses or be afraid.  It's easy to slack on practicing or settle on a lyric.   It's easy to write alone rather then with someone because it's vulnerable and intimidating.   It's easy to turn down an opportunity because it might be challenging. But should the opposite not be true?   Should we not try even harder?   Should we not work for God and not man?
 Colossians 3:23-24 says "Whoever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
I am not saying we should all consider our benchmark to be an award ceremony or a hit song.   You may even be thinking "I don't write or sing or play so what does this have to do with me?" But it is for every part of our lives as Colossians says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart..." There are others who have gone before us, others around us, walking out there lives in similar callings, and perhaps we can use their examples to push us forward.   To help us make goals and pursuits that keep us running toward the prize.     Keep us pushing toward excellence, so that when we meet our Master we will hear Him say "well done my good and faithful servant"

Garbage City

Today I was reminded of a trip I took about 8 years ago.

It was a missions trip to Egypt and Syria.    A 10-day journey filled with worship, ministry, baba ganouch, and spiritual warfare.    Before we left for the trip we spent weeks together as a team praying for each other and for those we would encounter.   We talked about the power of prayer, hearing from the Lord, praying for pictures or visions to encourage others, and praying against our own struggles and strongholds.   For me it was fear.   I knew that this trip would potentially be filled with danger.   We were going to a place where I was told, they did not like Americans, and where they certainly do not like Christians.  At the time, the wars and battles going on today were not waging the way they are now but in my heart I knew it was not something to be taken lightly.     A few days before we left the Lord gave me a dream that filled me with such peace that I knew He had heard our prayers and was walking with us.   

 I will never forget the feeling walking off the plane in Damascus after a 12 hour flight.   We were tired and a bit jet lagged and yet there was this tangible, heaviness.   It felt like a great weight, and magnification of a spiritual war.    I have never in all my life felt anything like it.    You would hear the sounds of the Muslim call to prayer multiple times a day….There were thousands upon thousands of satellites on buildings everywhere, covered in dust, that we were told had thousands of channels most of which were porn.   It was desert covered with historical monuments that served as reminders of the heritage of slavery and redemption of God’s chosen people.    It was like standing in the aftermath of a war, and yet having the sense that the war was still going on.  A spiritual battle that could not be seen but only felt.    I remember thinking in that moment, that suddenly all of my struggles seemed to be magnified, but yet at the same time all of my strengths were magnified as well, like a veil was lifted and suddenly there was this heightened sense of reality.    Was this because of all our prayers?   Was this the Lord showing us a glimpse of the spiritual world?   Was this the results of thousands of years of spiritual battles over God’s people and His territory?  Or perhaps due to a people more desperate for God because of real, ever present, life-threatening persecution?  Perhaps all of the above…

Over the next few days we were taken on a tour of many of the Egyptian monuments and churches.    We were blessed to have a Christian tour guide who took us to one of the most memorable and significant places I have ever been.   This place was called Garbage City.  It was a place that over the last 100 years or so, has provided a haven for many believers.    To bargain for freedom, Christians agreed to live in this town and collect trash from the local cities.   In exchange, they would be allowed to live and worship in peace.      When you drive into the town it is nothing but torn down, filthy buildings filled with garbage and filth.    It’s hard not to think “how can anyone live here?” but then you make it to the center of the town it opens up to this incredibly beautiful courtyard.   Surrounded gardens and thick sandstone walls, they gather together to eat, play and enjoy each other’s company.   On the walls are dozens of carvings done by 1 man who came to spend time there as a tourist and ended up staying for many years after feeling the Lord’s call.    He carved images from different stories in the Bible, telling such a vivid tale of victory and redemption with such beauty and power.   Within the garbage city community there are a few churches.  They meet multiple time s a week and regularly experience healings and miracles.   And in the center of the courtyard, a man, who does tattoos.    This tattoo is the Coptic Cross.   More familiar now perhaps as more and more refugees find a home here in America.   It is a sign of faith…a declaration of hope, and belief in Jesus Christ.   It is most often put on the right inner wrist so that when you shake someone hand it can be seen.    A few of us decided to get one that day.   In this little hand built station surrounded by loving, kind, grateful people who could not speak English but knew we were family anyway.   People who choose to believed despite their circumstances and challenges.  Who choose to embrace God’s goodness even if it means living with the trash of their enemy.  People with very little of worldly value but rich in faith.  I thank the Lord for my time there.   I thank Him for that experience because it opened my eyes.   And each time I see the tattoo I am reminded of those sweet people.   I am reminded that God still moves and works on behalf of His children.  I am reminded of redemption, and His ever present, ever working Spirit.   I am reminded that here in America where we are comfortable and safe, that sometimes we forget that the war is not against flesh and blood….That there is a battle raging all around us all the time.   That we must stand up and pray….Fight for this country and for our brothers and sisters in Christ who die everyday for Jesus. Romans 12:2

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.