Well Worth the Noise

Im sitting here on our front porch, enjoying a sticky, humid Tennessee evening, and in the background all I can here are the sounds of trumpet blows.   Not professional sounds mind you, but those of a kid who has just been opened up to an adventure into the musical world of band.     Now don't get me wrong....I could not be more excited for him.    It is one of the things I have been hoping to impart on my stepson.   The love and understanding of music.   And while he enjoys listening to music, there is nothing like the art of learning how to make your own.  I had to fight for this a little bit because neither my husband nor Christian's mom were super thrilled with the idea of a noisy instrument coming home with him each day....but I know what he has been missing out on.    The thrill of implementing practice, hard work, and technique and in return receiving the reward of a song.    It's a skill and mindset that will go with him, I hope, throughout his entire life.   Hopefully opening his mind to parts of the world he had never before know.   To help him see things in a whole new way and understand what he hears every day with a slightly more colorful perspective.       They tell you that becoming a parent will help you to understand love in a way you never could before.   And while he is not technically speaking my child, I do indeed understand what it means to love in ways I never had before because of that sweet boy.     And while my ears may not thank me, I am thrilled that he is going to have this new adventure.    As he was trying out the trumpet we got (borrowed) for him to use this year, I started thinking....no one, including his teachers, (saints in my book by the way) expect him to pick up this instrument and immediately rock their socks off.    I'm sure there is a small part of them that hopes for one or two kids like that each year, but I would venture a guess it doesn't really ever happen.    And even though they receive books, and have class each day, it takes months if not years to really fully understand and grow in the instrument they choose.     I think back on my days learning how to play the keyboard.   I was 18 when I started learning....older then most to get started probably, and it took a few weeks before I could even play chords without sounded horrible.   And nearly 15 years later I am still learning and growing....I still have to practice and I still make mistakes.      But as I sat there listening to Christian, I thought....I wonder if, in a way, this is how the Lord sees us.    Like children learning something new.    Not expecting perfection or flawless performance.   But knowing we are in a process that will take time, patience, and a lot of work.    It's easy to beat ourselves up when we make a mistake, fall into an old pattern, or choose sin instead of truth....yet the Lord knows, we cannot just pick up Faith and immediately walk it out perfectly.   He tells us His grace is sufficient for a reason.    Because we are not.    I wonder if He looks at us, as a Father, knowing His ways are best and His instruction solid, yet knowing we will still hit lots of flat notes, and break a few strings.  Knowing that while we will never this side of heaven, play the perfect song, we are well worth the noise.  I know that when we sit in the audience for the first performance and watch Christian play with excitement along side his classmates, the music they have worked so hard to learn will fill us with pride and joy.   The Lord no doubt loves every moment with us because He is a good Father and His love for us, His unwavering heart for His children, covers our mistakes.    I am thankful for these experiences as a parent because they have taught me more about the Father and His love for us, and I hope my music makes Him proud both in my life and through it.   But I am thankful that even in those areas where we lack...He will still sit there and listen to the music.   He will not cover His ears or hide away.    His love covers the mistakes that would otherwise leave our lives a jumble of static so that we can be a beautiful song for His glory.  

Words of Peace

Sorry it has been so long!  I tell you what...moving is a lot of work!   Not that i am complaining or anything...it has been a blast!     A few days ago a good friend came over to see the new house for the first time.  We were chatting and catching up, and got to talking about some of the things God has been showing us lately.   One of the things she said has really made me think these last few days.   She was telling me how she has been challenged to focus on the major role the words we speak play in our lives and in those around us.     How they can bring life, or death.  That what we say affects more then just a thought or action but can affect things on a much deeper spiritual level.   I'm sure we have all heard the saying "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all"...i find myself saying it occasionally...and sometimes i need to hear it.   When we bought our house one of the things i prayed before we moved in was that the Lords presence would be in the home.   That peace would reign and that anyone who comes into our home would feel that peace.   But as we were talking about our words and the affect they have, i realized that while the presence of the Lord is the first and most important eliment to peace, and i know He is always with us...our words...what we allow, are also an important factor and can significantly affect a situation.  

Proverbs 12:18

"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

 knowing what to say, and what not to say, when to speak and when to hold your tongue...this plays a very large role in peace in a home and as I study this truth more, the more I recognize it in my interactions with others. 

I believe a big part of the power in what we speak, are the words we are proclaiming.  The power in the words we let out of our mouths and into our lives.   

The lies that we allow ourselves to own, to believe and then to speak out to ourselves and to those around us.   The thoughts no one hears that we proclaim over ourselves from years of misunderstood truth or misrepresented emotion.   The hurtful things said to us that we owned as our own without bringing it before the feet of cross where its hold can be broken.   These things can, without our even being aware, impact our lives.   I have felt very convicted to focus on this within my family.    What am i saying that they may hold onto as truth when i spoke out of anger or frustration?   What am i choosing to bring into my home?   What words am I speaking over my stepson?   Am i speaking peace or speaking strife?    

 

Psalm 19:14

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, My rock and my redeemer.”

Recently my stepson didnt get into the before and after school program we use each year.   This was due to a clarical issue not at all our fault but it was going to cause major issues for us with work.  Even though he was put at the top of the waiting list, I started to panic...i started to feel the anxiety rise up in my stomach.   Immediately i thought of every worst case scenario....we could have issues with our job, we may have to pay more for a different type of daycare and so on.   These thoughts...these words...were making a situation that was already challenging, feel far more stressful, and causing tension for my husband who could not control things anymore then I could...i knew this but could not get the thoughts out of my head.   Then a few days later, laying in bed about to go to sleep i decided to pray.    I said "Lord you are faithful.   You have shown me this and i believe it.   If you allow him to not get in, there is a reason and i will trust you.   Your way is better and You are our provider and nothing can change that."  Suddenly peace washed over me.   Suddenly i was no longer worried.    Despite not hearing back from them for a full week after school started, I knew everything would be ok one way or the other.     That God had a plan in it.     I began preparing to adjust my schedule as a worst case scenario solution, and then tuesday morning we got the call he made it in.    While it definitely could have ended differently and we are very thankful...the words i chose to speak over the situation gave me peace either way.   Because they were truth...despite the circumstances they were truth.   

Proverbs 13:3

"Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin"

I think a lot of the way I speak, and you may find this true for yourself, comes from habits formed over time.    Things I have allowed or seen, whether good of bad that I no longer even notice.   Like anything there is practice involved in the act of choosing to watch your words.   Especially when dealing with someone, with whom you have already set the manner in which you interact.   And changing that may be a one sided thing.   But as I think on these scriptures, and I think about our new home and how I long for a place of peace, I know the Lord's heart is for that peace to remain.   And it starts with His presence and our choosing to enter in, and speak words of peace.    

But We Trust in the Name of the Lord

So my husband and I bought a house!

Now if you have been keeping up with my blog posts you understand why this is an incredibly wonderful event.     Through this process, we have seen the Lord move in absolutely amazing ways.   His faithfulness leaves me speechless.    We found out a few days before we closed on my townhouse, that the lease at our apartment was up a month sooner then we thought.  This meant starting the looking process sooner then we had planned in order to find something in time.   So away we went into the land of house hunting.   I should mention that a few days before it all began, I had prayed a rather crazy prayer, that the Lord would lead us to the right house and that my husband and I would independently and collectively know it was the right house.    I prayed that we would only have to submit an offer on that house.   This was a crazy prayer for many reasons.   First the market is so competitive right now, no matter where you look that many people end up looking for weeks, and making offers on multiple houses and still end up with nothing.  Houses are selling while before they even hit the market and people are even resorting to knocking and doors and making offers.   Second, my husband and I don’t often agree when it comes to what we want in a house so finding something that would make both of us happy is quite a challenge.   Third, we do not have the budget to choose whatever location we want.   We had to shop within our budget while staying close enough to my step sons school that we would be able to make the drive without worry, making things limited at best.   We started out day one looking at a few places but did not find anything.    The next evening my real estate agent sent me an email with the subject line reading “Hmmmm….”    Intrigued I opened it to find the most beautiful home we had seen yet, in a great neighborhood and in our budget.   She said the house had been on the market for almost 3 months and she could not figure out why.    We assumed there must have been a major issue and set it aside to aggressively search for what we thought was more realistic.    The next day my agent told me she was going to take us to a few houses but did not tell us which ones or where they were.    So I told the Lord “Lord I know you have a plan, if today is nothing more then a few more houses to check off the list, I know we are getting closer to the right one”.  Fully expecting to find nothing we started off to the first house.     After deciding that it wasn’t a good fit we set off to the second house.   Low and behold it was the house she had sent the night before.   We were blown away that this house was sitting on the market with no offers.  With no major issues, we knew immediately it was the house we wanted…the house the Lord had set aside for us.   Long story short….We made 1 offer, on a house we both fell in love with, in an area we never dreamed possible and got the house!   I am convinced that the Lord prepared this place for us.  Knowing what we would need and what we would want and every single thing we didn’t think to ask for.      I share this not to say ”look at what we have” but to say “Look at what He has done!”    I am boasting in the Father who provides, the God who still answers prayers.   The God that knows us so deeply and so intimately that He can orchestrate something beautiful, even from a mess.     The best part…is that my husband’s family is now seeing what the Lord is doing and has begun asking for prayer and seeking Him in ways they had not done before.   I am humbled and honored to be a part of this story and thankful that we serve a mighty King who can overcome all obstacles.   When it is His will, there is nothing that can stop it.    

Psalm 20:6-7

“Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to His anointed.  He answers him from His heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of His right hand.   Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”

We Are His Workmanship

Surrounded by clouds of dust.   The smell was wood particles floating around in the humid, Tennessee air.   Sweat beads dripping from my nose as I stood, hunched over, pushing a piece of sandpaper back and forth over the top of a table that I purchased.   I bought the table used for 25 dollars from a Facebook buy sell and trade group.  

There is just something so redemptive about taking an item that somebody else no longer wants and repurposing it.  Making it beautiful.   A bit of trash to treasure I suppose you could say.    Currently in our apartment, the only place I have to work on anything crafty is our tiny, mostly closed in porch.    The air swirled around and returned, blowing the sawdust back into my face as I stood out there for hours, wearing out my arms in attempt to peel away stickers left by tiny hands who didn’t care what the table use to be, and then the layers of old, chipped, scratched and dirty stain and finish.   My hope was simply to make a nice solid piece that could stand a few years of propping up feet, or holding up a drink or maybe a few books.   Keeping snacks at arms reach or a Kleenex box right where you need it for that big sneeze, and maybe…just maybe, make it look like someone cared enough to try and salvage a tattered, old, used up table.    As I sanded, and my hands began to blister from the repetitive motion and rough paper against my skin, I could not help but feel the presence of the Lord.   I began to think about the fact that Jesus was Himself a carpenter.   His profession, though not a major part of His ministry, and barely mentioned in Scripture, was the very act of creating.   He would take a pile of wood, perhaps, broken or useless pieces of lumber, and form them into something beautiful.   He spent countless hours, working His fingers raw and His arms tired, and I wonder….I wonder if He thought about the people for whom each piece was for.    I wonder if He prayed over each piece and the home it would bless.    I wonder if this was in part, preparing Him for His ministry of healing the broken, and mending the wounded.   Bringing light and hope to a dark world, and showing us that God does indeed take the broken and the bruised and make beautiful things.  

As I sanded more of the table I began to realize that underneath all of the thick varnish and dated, dingy stain, there was indeed a beautiful, well-made table.   As more and more of the table immerged, it brought me to tears as I began to realize that was hidden far outweighed what was showing.   The beauty, and quality of the piece would never have been evident by looking at the table before this process began. 

I could not help but think about this metaphor of what the Lord does in our lives as we learn to trust Him more…He begins to peel back the layers.   Difficult and painful as it sometimes can be, these layers of fear, insecurity, pride, greed….These layers that keep us from being the person we are created to be.   They hide the beauty that we hold, given by the creator, for a unique purpose we alone are called to.   Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them”.   He designed us, in His wisdom and glory, for a purpose that only He can fulfill.   We have to trust and surrender to His plan for our lives.   Believing that just as I felt pride in the work I was doing, how much more pride must He feel toward His creation.   How much more passionately does He want to restore and heal and peel away the many layers of sin, and pain and brokenness that cover up His light and love.  

Revelation 21:5 says “He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.””

We can stand on this promise.   He is not done with us yet.   He is making everything new, and we can hold onto this, knowing that no matter how things may appear…He is still in control.   Still reigning above with authority and power.   He is able and willing, and actively moving on our behalf.    We are His workmanship.

Praying For Family

Lately I have been feeling the Lord tugging on my heart to pray more consistently for my family.    Not that I don't pray for them, but I have found, at times, those closest to me are sometimes the hardest to remember to pray for regularly and fervently.  I have been feeling the challenge to make it a bigger part of my prayer life, praying spirit filled prayers for those I love, not just because they may need it but because we are, I believe, the most equipped to pray for those we love.   I decided to start with scripture...these are some of the verses I found that are powerful when used in prayer.   Hopefully these will help in starting a foundation for praying daily for family.

First and foremost, we can intercede.
1st Samuel 7 tells of how Samuel was acting as leader of Israel, when they had sinned before the Lord and Samuel prayed on their behalf, leading them in fasting and calling upon the Lord, who comes to save them.   Verse 5 says "Then Samuel said "Assemble all Israel at Mizpah, and I will intercede with the Lord for you"".  We are intercessors for our family.  We can cry out to the Lord on behalf of those experiencing times of hardship, financial strain, for those who have turned from the Lord, or have never had a relationship with the Father.  For those who are in dire need of healing....whatever it may be, we are intercessors.

It's easy to forget to have a thankful heart.   And in a family, with often times different priorities, busy schedules, and even sometimes differing beliefs, it can be hard to remember to pray with thanks.    To thank the Lord for everything He has given us, and offer it back to Him in praise.       I am drawn to this prayer Hannah prayed in 1st Samuel 2:1-4 right after offering up her son, whom she prayed for and received from the Lord after many years of infertility.  "Then Hannah prayed and said: My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high.   My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance. There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.".

Covering.  That word keeps playing in my head.      We all sin.  And all sin is against the Father, but there are times when those we love, need not condemnation, but a safe place to find healing, hope, and renewal from the weight of guilt and pain.    2 Chronicles 30:18-20 says "Although most of the many people who came from Ephraim, Manasseh, Issachar and Zebulun had not purified themselves, yet they ate the passover, contrary to what was written.  But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, "May the Lord, who is good, pardon everyone who sets their hearts on seeking God-The Lord, the God of their ancestors-even if they are not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary."  And the Lord heard Hezekiah and healed the people."  
This was not about justifying, this was about covering.   Praying on behalf of another for protection and mercy in the face of grave error.

Praying for provision and protection for those we love.  These are big pieces of prayer for family.    God's word says in Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus".   I love this verse.    The thing I am reminded of here is something my paster always says "God promises to meet our needs, not our greeds".   But we serve a God with endless, boundless resources and He is faithful to provide for every need.   Psalm 145:14-20 says "The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.  The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.  You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.  The Lord is righteous in all His ways and faithful in all He does.  The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.   He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them.  The Lord watches over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy".  
We can call upon the Lord, knowing that in His faithfulness, He will provide.  He will protect us and watch over us.   He will, as His word says, "fulfill the desires of those who fear Him".  We can pray with confidence knowing that He is just as faithful now, as He was when this passage was written.

You are probably familiar with the scripture, 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self control."   This is a big one for our family.  Fear is something that nearly everyone on both sides of my family, and myself struggles with.  It is a powerful tool of the enemy and can keep us from living the life God has intended and called us to.    We can declare this truth over our lives, over our families, and over the next generation.

Another area that has been on my heart lately is our home.   We are getting ready for a move (more to come on that soon!) And I am realizing more then ver the importance of having a home filled with the Spirit.   Covered by the presence of the Lord.   For a home filled with peace and unity, calm and still in a world where discord is so normal.  The Scripture I am drawn to is Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm."
   We know that where we are the Lord is also there.   His presence is with us at all times.   But this prayer is against the things that would try to come in and steal peace, joy, contentment, harmony.  It is a spiritual battle and this verse is powerful in praying against the schemes of the enemy toward our homes....our families.

This is just a start really....barely scratching the surface of scripture that can be found and used in prayer.  We are called to pray without ceasing and just like Moses and David, prayed for God's people, we can pray with the same promises with the same supernatural power for our families.   We have access to the power of Christ in our lives to see change, growth, healing, restoration and so much more, and the Lord has placed us each in a unique position within our families to do just that.

A little Re-Wiring

So lately I have been watching a cute little show called Fixer Upper.   In case you are not familiar with it, it’s a show about this adorable couple in Texas who help people find a house in a neighborhood they like, in or below their price range and then remodel it into their dream home.   As we get closer to our dream of buying a house I can’t help but pay attention to the tricks and ideas that I see on this show.   I love me a good farmhouse table and pretty subway tiles.   

A couple of days ago my husband and I were talking about different things we recognize about ourselves that are struggles/issues/things we want to work on.    One of the comments my husband made while having the conversation was “that’s how I’m wired”. 

 Today, while watching fixer upper…I watched as they overhauled a house.   They redid the flooring, painted walls, tore out old features to replace with new ones, added windows, rewired…It was the same house, the same shell, but yet it was new, beautiful home, functional in a way it never could have been before.    They took an old, dirty, broken house and made it new.   They exposed all of the hidden damage, scarring, wear, and rust, and saw through the years of paint, dirt, and life that took place inside he walls to see it's full potential.

It made me think about our conversation…What if we are wired a certain way?   Does that mean you are stuck that way forever?   Does it mean you can’t be re-wired? 

There are some things that we are wired for, for a reason, to bring glory to God through the unique way in which we represent Him to the world.   I also think that time and seasons of life can affect us, change us, grow us, and either make us a more refined, and Christ like person....or not.  But it's up to us to choose.   God can use situations, experiences, and trials...to wire and re-wire us to be more like Him.   But then there are those things…those crossed wires that the enemy has found a way to convince us are just who we are.   Those struggles or challenges that we believe for long enough, that we become so numb to, that that we don’t even think about change.   Or we hide those wires from the Lord for fear of the pain and exposure that comes with the breaking down of the old for the new.    God’s word says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; The old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”    What if we gave Him access to our attic space.    To the closet behind the hidden door.   What if we let Him in to see that which He already knows is there, but is waiting to be invited inside.   What if we gave Him a chance to come in and renovate everything... Maybe then we could be rewired in even those dark places where corrosion is so normal we stopped trying to flip the switch.   

The old is gone and new has come.   Gods word states it and I believe if we let Him, He will do that very thing in us.   But we have to give Him access.   Trust Him    He does want good things for His children, and sometimes we pray for those obvious things but stop just shy of the prayer that could bring a total and complete overhaul in our lives.   Maybe it’s time to pray and trust for a little re-wiring.

Wisdom My Friend

Last night around 9 PM, after hours of waiting and praying, My brother in law and his girlfriend had a baby.  Despite a few small complications, things went very well an all are healthy.    I am so stoked to be an auntie again :)    But while we are all thrilled and blessed by this new addition, It got me thinking about life, making decisions...being an adult hahaha.  I have been reading through Proverbs over the last few days and got a bit stuck on Proverbs 8.   The thing about it that strikes me....what I can't get out of my head, is that it talks about the value of wisdom.     I remember... not really that long ago, when I thought of wisdom as an important thing but did not totally understand it's value in my life.   I would pray for it occasionally but in many ways thought of it as more of an option rather then a necessity     while we know that no situation is ever perfect, nothing ever happens the way we plan, and no one ever acts in perfect wisdom all the time...Its interesting to me the older i get, the more i can see the reasons for the "do and dont" lists in scripture.  The more i understand that it isnt about control or manipulation, but protection, prosperity, and living in His best for His glory.   When we choose human wisdom and understanding, not only do we limit what God can do but we limit what we can do.   

One of the most interesting things I noticed in this Proverbs is that it says in verse 22-31

“The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works,
    before his deeds of old;
23 I was formed long ages ago,
    at the very beginning, when the world came to be.
24 When there were no watery depths, I was given birth,
    when there were no springs overflowing with water;
25 before the mountains were settled in place,
    before the hills, I was given birth,
26 before he made the world or its fields
    or any of the dust of the earth.
27 I was there when he set the heavens in place,
    when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,
28 when he established the clouds above
    and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,
29 when he gave the sea its boundary
    so the waters would not overstep his command,
and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.
30     Then I was constantly at his side.
I was filled with delight day after day,
    rejoicing always in his presence,
31 rejoicing in his whole world
    and delighting in mankind.

Wisdom was.    It was not created for our benefit.   It did come into play once we needed it or just on occasion when it comes in handy.    Wisdom is like a friend of God.   A foundational feature of His character, from before time began.    The other thing that really struck me about this passage.....when the Lord gives us His wisdom, it is wisdom for our circumstances, from an eternal perspective.   When you ask your mom for advice or look something up on the internet, or talk to a friend to see what they think....they can give you good advice sure.  They might even have a good perspective as someone in your life, familiar with the situation or struggle.   But when you ask the Lord for wisdom, He gives you a taste of the inheritance of understanding of the One who created it all.    This blows my mind a little....why would I not seek answers from the One who created the ability to even ask a question.  The one who, before it all, had a plan.    Who not only perfectly understand every little element of what we are experiencing but sees the entire picture from start to finish.   Who knows the deepest places of our hearts.    The chapter then goes on to say.

³² “Now then, my children, listen to me;
    blessed are those who keep my ways.
³³ Listen to my instruction and be wise;
    do not disregard it.
³⁴ Blessed are those who listen to me,
    watching daily at my doors,
    waiting at my doorway.
³⁵ For those who find me find life
    and receive favor from the Lord.
³⁶ But those who fail to find me harm themselves;
    all who hate me love death.”

Choosing wisdom, choosing to walk in the ways of wisdom is chasing a life of blessings.     But the most striking thing to me about this part of the passage is that is says those who fail to find wisdom harm themselves.    God's heart is for His children.   Wisdom is a gift and a blessing.   Choosing it is not about control.   It's not a rule....it's a gift.   His wisdom calls out to us, (verse 1 says "Does not wisdom call out")....it beckons us for our good and His glory.   And what a gift, what an example of the great Love of our creator for His children.