Well Worth the Noise

Im sitting here on our front porch, enjoying a sticky, humid Tennessee evening, and in the background all I can here are the sounds of trumpet blows.   Not professional sounds mind you, but those of a kid who has just been opened up to an adventure into the musical world of band.     Now don't get me wrong....I could not be more excited for him.    It is one of the things I have been hoping to impart on my stepson.   The love and understanding of music.   And while he enjoys listening to music, there is nothing like the art of learning how to make your own.  I had to fight for this a little bit because neither my husband nor Christian's mom were super thrilled with the idea of a noisy instrument coming home with him each day....but I know what he has been missing out on.    The thrill of implementing practice, hard work, and technique and in return receiving the reward of a song.    It's a skill and mindset that will go with him, I hope, throughout his entire life.   Hopefully opening his mind to parts of the world he had never before know.   To help him see things in a whole new way and understand what he hears every day with a slightly more colorful perspective.       They tell you that becoming a parent will help you to understand love in a way you never could before.   And while he is not technically speaking my child, I do indeed understand what it means to love in ways I never had before because of that sweet boy.     And while my ears may not thank me, I am thrilled that he is going to have this new adventure.    As he was trying out the trumpet we got (borrowed) for him to use this year, I started thinking....no one, including his teachers, (saints in my book by the way) expect him to pick up this instrument and immediately rock their socks off.    I'm sure there is a small part of them that hopes for one or two kids like that each year, but I would venture a guess it doesn't really ever happen.    And even though they receive books, and have class each day, it takes months if not years to really fully understand and grow in the instrument they choose.     I think back on my days learning how to play the keyboard.   I was 18 when I started learning....older then most to get started probably, and it took a few weeks before I could even play chords without sounded horrible.   And nearly 15 years later I am still learning and growing....I still have to practice and I still make mistakes.      But as I sat there listening to Christian, I thought....I wonder if, in a way, this is how the Lord sees us.    Like children learning something new.    Not expecting perfection or flawless performance.   But knowing we are in a process that will take time, patience, and a lot of work.    It's easy to beat ourselves up when we make a mistake, fall into an old pattern, or choose sin instead of truth....yet the Lord knows, we cannot just pick up Faith and immediately walk it out perfectly.   He tells us His grace is sufficient for a reason.    Because we are not.    I wonder if He looks at us, as a Father, knowing His ways are best and His instruction solid, yet knowing we will still hit lots of flat notes, and break a few strings.  Knowing that while we will never this side of heaven, play the perfect song, we are well worth the noise.  I know that when we sit in the audience for the first performance and watch Christian play with excitement along side his classmates, the music they have worked so hard to learn will fill us with pride and joy.   The Lord no doubt loves every moment with us because He is a good Father and His love for us, His unwavering heart for His children, covers our mistakes.    I am thankful for these experiences as a parent because they have taught me more about the Father and His love for us, and I hope my music makes Him proud both in my life and through it.   But I am thankful that even in those areas where we lack...He will still sit there and listen to the music.   He will not cover His ears or hide away.    His love covers the mistakes that would otherwise leave our lives a jumble of static so that we can be a beautiful song for His glory.  

Words of Peace

Sorry it has been so long!  I tell you what...moving is a lot of work!   Not that i am complaining or anything...it has been a blast!     A few days ago a good friend came over to see the new house for the first time.  We were chatting and catching up, and got to talking about some of the things God has been showing us lately.   One of the things she said has really made me think these last few days.   She was telling me how she has been challenged to focus on the major role the words we speak play in our lives and in those around us.     How they can bring life, or death.  That what we say affects more then just a thought or action but can affect things on a much deeper spiritual level.   I'm sure we have all heard the saying "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all"...i find myself saying it occasionally...and sometimes i need to hear it.   When we bought our house one of the things i prayed before we moved in was that the Lords presence would be in the home.   That peace would reign and that anyone who comes into our home would feel that peace.   But as we were talking about our words and the affect they have, i realized that while the presence of the Lord is the first and most important eliment to peace, and i know He is always with us...our words...what we allow, are also an important factor and can significantly affect a situation.  

Proverbs 12:18

"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

 knowing what to say, and what not to say, when to speak and when to hold your tongue...this plays a very large role in peace in a home and as I study this truth more, the more I recognize it in my interactions with others. 

I believe a big part of the power in what we speak, are the words we are proclaiming.  The power in the words we let out of our mouths and into our lives.   

The lies that we allow ourselves to own, to believe and then to speak out to ourselves and to those around us.   The thoughts no one hears that we proclaim over ourselves from years of misunderstood truth or misrepresented emotion.   The hurtful things said to us that we owned as our own without bringing it before the feet of cross where its hold can be broken.   These things can, without our even being aware, impact our lives.   I have felt very convicted to focus on this within my family.    What am i saying that they may hold onto as truth when i spoke out of anger or frustration?   What am i choosing to bring into my home?   What words am I speaking over my stepson?   Am i speaking peace or speaking strife?    

 

Psalm 19:14

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, My rock and my redeemer.”

Recently my stepson didnt get into the before and after school program we use each year.   This was due to a clarical issue not at all our fault but it was going to cause major issues for us with work.  Even though he was put at the top of the waiting list, I started to panic...i started to feel the anxiety rise up in my stomach.   Immediately i thought of every worst case scenario....we could have issues with our job, we may have to pay more for a different type of daycare and so on.   These thoughts...these words...were making a situation that was already challenging, feel far more stressful, and causing tension for my husband who could not control things anymore then I could...i knew this but could not get the thoughts out of my head.   Then a few days later, laying in bed about to go to sleep i decided to pray.    I said "Lord you are faithful.   You have shown me this and i believe it.   If you allow him to not get in, there is a reason and i will trust you.   Your way is better and You are our provider and nothing can change that."  Suddenly peace washed over me.   Suddenly i was no longer worried.    Despite not hearing back from them for a full week after school started, I knew everything would be ok one way or the other.     That God had a plan in it.     I began preparing to adjust my schedule as a worst case scenario solution, and then tuesday morning we got the call he made it in.    While it definitely could have ended differently and we are very thankful...the words i chose to speak over the situation gave me peace either way.   Because they were truth...despite the circumstances they were truth.   

Proverbs 13:3

"Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin"

I think a lot of the way I speak, and you may find this true for yourself, comes from habits formed over time.    Things I have allowed or seen, whether good of bad that I no longer even notice.   Like anything there is practice involved in the act of choosing to watch your words.   Especially when dealing with someone, with whom you have already set the manner in which you interact.   And changing that may be a one sided thing.   But as I think on these scriptures, and I think about our new home and how I long for a place of peace, I know the Lord's heart is for that peace to remain.   And it starts with His presence and our choosing to enter in, and speak words of peace.    

But We Trust in the Name of the Lord

So my husband and I bought a house!

Now if you have been keeping up with my blog posts you understand why this is an incredibly wonderful event.     Through this process, we have seen the Lord move in absolutely amazing ways.   His faithfulness leaves me speechless.    We found out a few days before we closed on my townhouse, that the lease at our apartment was up a month sooner then we thought.  This meant starting the looking process sooner then we had planned in order to find something in time.   So away we went into the land of house hunting.   I should mention that a few days before it all began, I had prayed a rather crazy prayer, that the Lord would lead us to the right house and that my husband and I would independently and collectively know it was the right house.    I prayed that we would only have to submit an offer on that house.   This was a crazy prayer for many reasons.   First the market is so competitive right now, no matter where you look that many people end up looking for weeks, and making offers on multiple houses and still end up with nothing.  Houses are selling while before they even hit the market and people are even resorting to knocking and doors and making offers.   Second, my husband and I don’t often agree when it comes to what we want in a house so finding something that would make both of us happy is quite a challenge.   Third, we do not have the budget to choose whatever location we want.   We had to shop within our budget while staying close enough to my step sons school that we would be able to make the drive without worry, making things limited at best.   We started out day one looking at a few places but did not find anything.    The next evening my real estate agent sent me an email with the subject line reading “Hmmmm….”    Intrigued I opened it to find the most beautiful home we had seen yet, in a great neighborhood and in our budget.   She said the house had been on the market for almost 3 months and she could not figure out why.    We assumed there must have been a major issue and set it aside to aggressively search for what we thought was more realistic.    The next day my agent told me she was going to take us to a few houses but did not tell us which ones or where they were.    So I told the Lord “Lord I know you have a plan, if today is nothing more then a few more houses to check off the list, I know we are getting closer to the right one”.  Fully expecting to find nothing we started off to the first house.     After deciding that it wasn’t a good fit we set off to the second house.   Low and behold it was the house she had sent the night before.   We were blown away that this house was sitting on the market with no offers.  With no major issues, we knew immediately it was the house we wanted…the house the Lord had set aside for us.   Long story short….We made 1 offer, on a house we both fell in love with, in an area we never dreamed possible and got the house!   I am convinced that the Lord prepared this place for us.  Knowing what we would need and what we would want and every single thing we didn’t think to ask for.      I share this not to say ”look at what we have” but to say “Look at what He has done!”    I am boasting in the Father who provides, the God who still answers prayers.   The God that knows us so deeply and so intimately that He can orchestrate something beautiful, even from a mess.     The best part…is that my husband’s family is now seeing what the Lord is doing and has begun asking for prayer and seeking Him in ways they had not done before.   I am humbled and honored to be a part of this story and thankful that we serve a mighty King who can overcome all obstacles.   When it is His will, there is nothing that can stop it.    

Psalm 20:6-7

“Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to His anointed.  He answers him from His heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of His right hand.   Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”