Wisdom My Friend

Last night around 9 PM, after hours of waiting and praying, My brother in law and his girlfriend had a baby.  Despite a few small complications, things went very well an all are healthy.    I am so stoked to be an auntie again :)    But while we are all thrilled and blessed by this new addition, It got me thinking about life, making decisions...being an adult hahaha.  I have been reading through Proverbs over the last few days and got a bit stuck on Proverbs 8.   The thing about it that strikes me....what I can't get out of my head, is that it talks about the value of wisdom.     I remember... not really that long ago, when I thought of wisdom as an important thing but did not totally understand it's value in my life.   I would pray for it occasionally but in many ways thought of it as more of an option rather then a necessity     while we know that no situation is ever perfect, nothing ever happens the way we plan, and no one ever acts in perfect wisdom all the time...Its interesting to me the older i get, the more i can see the reasons for the "do and dont" lists in scripture.  The more i understand that it isnt about control or manipulation, but protection, prosperity, and living in His best for His glory.   When we choose human wisdom and understanding, not only do we limit what God can do but we limit what we can do.   

One of the most interesting things I noticed in this Proverbs is that it says in verse 22-31

“The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works,
    before his deeds of old;
23 I was formed long ages ago,
    at the very beginning, when the world came to be.
24 When there were no watery depths, I was given birth,
    when there were no springs overflowing with water;
25 before the mountains were settled in place,
    before the hills, I was given birth,
26 before he made the world or its fields
    or any of the dust of the earth.
27 I was there when he set the heavens in place,
    when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,
28 when he established the clouds above
    and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,
29 when he gave the sea its boundary
    so the waters would not overstep his command,
and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.
30     Then I was constantly at his side.
I was filled with delight day after day,
    rejoicing always in his presence,
31 rejoicing in his whole world
    and delighting in mankind.

Wisdom was.    It was not created for our benefit.   It did come into play once we needed it or just on occasion when it comes in handy.    Wisdom is like a friend of God.   A foundational feature of His character, from before time began.    The other thing that really struck me about this passage.....when the Lord gives us His wisdom, it is wisdom for our circumstances, from an eternal perspective.   When you ask your mom for advice or look something up on the internet, or talk to a friend to see what they think....they can give you good advice sure.  They might even have a good perspective as someone in your life, familiar with the situation or struggle.   But when you ask the Lord for wisdom, He gives you a taste of the inheritance of understanding of the One who created it all.    This blows my mind a little....why would I not seek answers from the One who created the ability to even ask a question.  The one who, before it all, had a plan.    Who not only perfectly understand every little element of what we are experiencing but sees the entire picture from start to finish.   Who knows the deepest places of our hearts.    The chapter then goes on to say.

³² “Now then, my children, listen to me;
    blessed are those who keep my ways.
³³ Listen to my instruction and be wise;
    do not disregard it.
³⁴ Blessed are those who listen to me,
    watching daily at my doors,
    waiting at my doorway.
³⁵ For those who find me find life
    and receive favor from the Lord.
³⁶ But those who fail to find me harm themselves;
    all who hate me love death.”

Choosing wisdom, choosing to walk in the ways of wisdom is chasing a life of blessings.     But the most striking thing to me about this part of the passage is that is says those who fail to find wisdom harm themselves.    God's heart is for His children.   Wisdom is a gift and a blessing.   Choosing it is not about control.   It's not a rule....it's a gift.   His wisdom calls out to us, (verse 1 says "Does not wisdom call out")....it beckons us for our good and His glory.   And what a gift, what an example of the great Love of our creator for His children.   

Practice Makes Perfect

I have never handles pressure very well.    Even when I was young and there wasn't as much resting on the day to day, I would still get so nervous and anxious about things I had to do.  Even now, every time I perform I get nervous.  Even after years of experience.  No matter how much I practice or prepare.  Something in me does not fully trust myself.  This last Christmas I was a part of the Christmas production at my church.   We did the same production as the year before because it was so well received.   This meant a lot less pressure on those of us who had to learn songs, parts and dance moves....yes dance moves.    During the dress rehearsal, I was asked to sing a solo part in place of the woman who was suppose to do it because she was starting to feel sick and they wanted to have me stand in, in the event she was not well the next day.    I Was So Nervous.   It's silly really.   A room full of people I knew, only a handful of audience members there to give feedback and a choir right behind me giving their full support....what did I do?   Well I should probably mention that it was acapella for the first 2 lines and then the band and choir come in....so I go forward as I am suppose to, walk up to the mic, and start singing.   "This isn't so bad" I think to myself "I can do this no problem", and then the band and choir come in.    What had started as the right key, landed somewhere a little to low and while the choir came in with me, the band did not and it ended up a total train wreck.    I was absolutely mortified.   And while I never ended up having to sing for any of the performances, and nobody brought it up again....I desperately wanted redemption.   I knew in my heart, that had I been able to practice a few times, I would have been able to sing the song no problem.      
It got me thinking about how sometimes, even when the Lord gives me assurance ..even when I know I hear His voice or His clear direction for my life, I doubt and question and walk in anxiety.  
                                                                  Trust takes practice.  
I really believe one of the reasons the Lord allows things to happen in our lives in seemingly consecutive events, is because without the practice, we would not be ready when the big things come along.    Now this is not to say that I am some kind of pro when it comes to trusting the Lord...I have a looooong way to go.  But we have to experience Gods faithfulness time and again until it becomes our first reaction, our muscle memory.  
Last week, I wrote about Psalm 144.   That passage was so timely and sweet to me.   I read that passage a few days before the appraisal was scheduled to take place on my house that sold last month.   It was the last piece of the puzzle before we could move forward with the sale.    I had been praying, fasting, working hard, but this piece was out of my hands.   The Lord reminded me through that passage, that I had done everything I could do.   That I was called to simply worship and trust Him and that He was going to fight the battle I could not fight.   I knew in that moment, reading that passage, that everything would be ok.   I knew that He would provide, even if it meant losing the buyer and starting over.    I wasn't worried.   Not because I have mastered my Faith, but because through this whole process I have been practicing trusting Him....and today I found out that the appraisal results were exactly what they needed to be.    God's word says in Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God"    
He has got it.   His word tells us that.  But practice makes perfect...

Train My Hands For War

A few days ago I was reading the Psalms and came across Psalm 144.    I have probably read it a dozen times over the years but this time it spoke to me in a huge, huge way.    Recently, I have been struggling with feeling like nothing I was doing was enough.   Like every effort I made was to small, and no matter what I tried, I could not do the right thing, say the right thing, write a good enough song, work hard enough....all the lies of the enemy attacking me with guilt and inferiority.   I knew these were lies and that the enemy was working to make me feel defeated and useless.   I also knew that I was beginning to believe it....so I prayed.    And then I came across Psalm 144.

It's a Psalm of David.

Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
    who trains my hands for war,
    my fingers for battle.
2 He is my loving God and my fortress,
    my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
    who subdues peoples[a] under me.

3 Lord, what are human beings that you care for them,
    mere mortals that you think of them?
4 They are like a breath;
    their days are like a fleeting shadow.

5 Part your heavens, Lord, and come down;
    touch the mountains, so that they smoke.
6 Send forth lightning and scatter the enemy;
    shoot your arrows and rout them.
7 Reach down your hand from on high;
    deliver me and rescue me
from the mighty waters,
    from the hands of foreigners
8 whose mouths are full of lies,
    whose right hands are deceitful.

9 I will sing a new song to you, my God;
    on the ten-stringed lyre I will make music to you,
10 to the One who gives victory to kings,
    who delivers his servant David.

From the deadly sword 11 deliver me;
    rescue me from the hands of foreigners
whose mouths are full of lies,
    whose right hands are deceitful.

¹² Then our sons in their youth
    will be like well-nurtured plants,
and our daughters will be like pillars
    carved to adorn a palace.
¹³ Our barns will be filled
    with every kind of provision.
Our sheep will increase by thousands,
    by tens of thousands in our fields;
¹⁴     our oxen will draw heavy loads.^[b]
There will be no breaching of walls,
    no going into captivity,
    no cry of distress in our streets.
¹⁵ Blessed is the people of whom this is true;
    blessed is the people whose God is the Lord.

The first thing I noticed is that when David prays for the Lord to ready him for war, he doesn't ask the Lord to prepare his armor, or ask for men to fight beside him.   He doesn't ask for a stronger sword or bigger shield.   He Praises the one who "trains his hands for war and his fingers for battle".   Then in verse 9 we learn why.....He is singing a new song to the Lord.   A song on his instrument.   He is choosing worship and praise, and in doing say, he is giving over the battle to the Lord.   His does what he is able and lets the Lord fight for Him.   Using the tools he has been given to wage war in worship.    The psalm then goes on to say "Part Your heavens, Lord, and come down"   He is inviting God to come and move, to scatter the enemy with lighting and reach down from on high and rescue him.    Verse 2 says "He is my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues people under me".  He is choosing to rest in the presence of his Father, and trust that it is enough.    It is all he is called to do....worship, and trust.      Waiting on the Lord to fight the battle he knows is too big and to high for him to fight.    There is freedom in knowing our King will wage the war.   He is big enough, strong enough, and willing.    May He Train our hands for war and our fingers for battle so that we can praise Him, and trust Him to come in and defeat the enemy.