The Front Lines

This past weekend I was scheduled to sing on a vocal team at my church.  Normally this is something I really look forward to.  For some reason this week I didn't feel the same sense of joy or excitement about it...in fact the whole weekend leading up to Sunday I struggled with feelings of depression and lack of motivation.  I know many who struggle with similar difficulties and am no stranger to a bad day...but this was different then anything I've experienced before.  I got up on Sunday morning just hoping to get through the day.  As I drove into the church parking lot that morning, I heard the Lord say "pray against depression this morning.  Pray for those who feel like you do.  Who are struggling to even get up and come to church today.   Those who feel hopeless and weary and tired.    Those who need joy".   And so I did...before each service I prayed.   And during worship I sang from a place on intervention for anyone in the room without the strength to sing or pray for themselves.  As people came forward during prayer time I asked the Lord to bring freedom and joy back to someone who had lost it.  To restore hope and energy to someone feeling hopeless and empty.  I prayed for healing from the weight of despair.  Unsure of who, but knowing the Lord knew.  Knowing that was enough.     I left church still feeling a sense of dread.     I arrived home and sat in the driveway.....waiting.    waiting for a shift in my own heart. Waiting for the weight to lift.   Weighting for a feeling of peace.    Finally I got out of the car and walked inside bracing myself for the rest of the day and within minutes it was as though the Lord reached down and lifted a huge weight off of me.  As though all of a sudden my whole world shifted.   Suddenly I felt complete peace.    Suddenly I felt unspeakable joy.   Suddenly, in that moment I knew exactly what the  Lord had done.    He had healed someone.   He had brought someone out of darkness.    And He allowed me to experience the whole thing so that I would be able to intercede....to press in, for that person, from within the trenches.     I spent the rest of the evening laughing....smiling, filled with such joy and rest.    Humbled that He would use me in such a way.   I keep praying for that person, whoever they are.   That they would continue to walk in hope and joy.   That they would continue to experience the Lord's presence.    And so thankful that we serve a God who loves us that much.          

Worship is so much more then song.  It is warfare and we are on the front lines when we praise Him.    I am thankful for this reminder.  I am thankful for the Lords grace.  

David said it best...

Psalm 29:

1

Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings,

    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

2 

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;

    worship the Lord in the splendor of his[a] holiness.

3 

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;

    the God of glory thunders,

    the Lord thunders over the mighty waters.

4 

The voice of the Lord is powerful;

    the voice of the Lord is majestic.

5 

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;

    the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.

6 

He makes Lebanon leap like a calf,

    Sirion[b] like a young wild ox.

7 

The voice of the Lord strikes

    with flashes of lightning.

8 

The voice of the Lord shakes the desert;

    the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh.

9 

The voice of the Lord twists the oaks[c]

    and strips the forests bare.

And in his temple all cry, “Glory!”

10 

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;

    the Lord is enthroned as King forever.

11 

The Lord gives strength to his people;

    the Lord blesses his people with peace.

Face to Face

Easter comes every year.   A beautiful reminder of the reason for the hope that we have in Christ.    I look forward to it every year for so many reasons, but this year, there was something so extra precious about it.    In the last few weeks my husband and I lost two friends.   Both tragic and unexpected.   Both young and seemingly healthy.   Both people who to the best of our knowledge, unbelievers.     I have struggled to come to terms with these losses because unlike a believers passing, there is little to feel but sadness.    I have been praying wholeheartedly that the Lord would draw near to the families and use these circumstances to somehow bring hope.    But I can't even imagine the pain without the joy of knowing my loved one is in the arms of the Father.    And that reminder for me, has made the Easter season that much sweeter.   It is the crux of it.    We have this hope!   We have the answer to the question of eternal life.  And on top of that, we are loved.   So loved that this very weekend we celebrate, not for chocolate bunnies or Easter baskets, we celebrate the ultimate gift.   The ultimate sacrifice.   The ultimate breaking of the great chain of death.     That God with such great love, would choose to give His only Son, and Jesus His son would choose to faithfully obey His Father, and be the sacrifice we needed.     John 14:29-31 says 

29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, 31 but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.

“Come now; let us leave.

These verses remind us that it was a choice.   God chose to send His son, and Jesus chose obedience unto death for us.   

This week as I dwell on the impact of this truth, I can't help but be reminded of the importance of sharing this good news.    I don't know weather or not our friends had been exposed to the truth and chose to reject it, or maybe at some point accepted and walked away.   Maybe there was a time when they truly excepted the Lord and are in heaven now....we will not know until our time comes.     But it made me think.    The apostles spread the Gospel worldwide without Facebook, Instagram, the internet, or any other form of connection.  They went out and preached the truth and people heard and believed.    They did not shy away from rejection or persecution but went out and spoke truth face to face.  And while the tools we have access to are great and can be used for so much good....are we hiding behind the ease of a perfectly phrased sentence, or timely image we share on special occasions instead of the vulnerability and raw nature of a real conversation?    It is so much easier to plan and prepare what you want to share.  Has this become how we witness?    I find myself sometimes realizing that I use my social media accounts as a bit of an excuse at times.   Like buying a salad to justify my fresh fries....a salad is great but does not undo the calories I consume in the french fries.     A post cannot do what a conversation can do.     Memes have there place, and they might even inspire, encourage, and uplift.   But true ministry happens when we get out of our comfort zones and spend time with people.   The truth is so much more powerful coming from the lips of a believer.  Unrehearsed, passionate, challenging... We have the biggest news mankind has ever known....and this past Sunday is a reminder of just how great our Savior is.....just how marvelous is His love for us.    We should tell the whole world...shout it from the rooftops!   Go and preach the good news!  And maybe....and I'm challenging myself in this as well....we should try it face to face.   

The Emotional Worship Conundrum

Tonight I went for a walk...kind of a later walk then I would normally take but I made the mistake of having Starbucks late in the day and thought it might help use up some of the lingering (albeit totally worth it) caffeine...As I was walking I looked up and noticed the absolutely breathtaking clear night sky filled to overflowing with so many brilliant stars, one could not count them in a lifetime.   A view I don't normally miss due to earlier walks.   All of a sudden I was completely overcome with gratitude.    Gratitude that the Lord would choose to, in all His glory and majesty, love us.    That with all His power and Majesty He still chose to sacrifice His son....that He would have done it all for even one of us.   It blows me away.  My eyes filled with tears and I spent the next few moments in thankful praise.       It brought to mind this question, What place does emotion have in a worship experience?     I recently have had a few different conversations with people about this topic.   One of those conversations was with my sister who visited from California recently.    We were discussing the worship service we attended at my church and she stated how she does not like emotional worship experiences because to her, worship isn't about the emotions but rather the act of praise, and sometimes the emotional piece of it can become a distraction or a forced reaction...and can also take away from the Biblical foundation because we base truth on how we feel rather then what the Bible says.    It really got me thinking about my own approach to worship, both leading and congregational.     It can be very easy to make emotion the focus....Letting emotion induce the atmosphere rather then the atmosphere induce emotion.   In other words, allowing the Holy Spirit to move and in His doing so, bring about a genuine emotional response, rather then forcing an emotional interaction with the Father to make oneself feel as though they had a true worship experience.    

  I googled the topic and at least a dozen articles popped up on the subject.   People questioning emotions in worship, people promoting or criticizing it...My personal take is this... I think that all people are different.   No two relationships with the Father are the same...and I believe as a result of this we all respond differently to the moving of His Spirit.     The key to a worship experience....music or otherwise, is that the presence of the Lord is there and that your heart be purposed to bring Him glory, show Him gratitude, and stand in a place of reverent expectation.    Whatever that may look like.  I do believe though, that in sweet moments with the Lord where He shows us more of His heart, or reveals something to us that we needed to hear, causing us to repent.   Or times when we feel close to Him and feel the warmth of His embrace, or spend time in intercession for another in need.... Some of these things can, and even should bring out an emotional response.     He is not reliant nor dependent on our emotional state.    He does not change because we feel Him more one day then the next.   He is not trying to be relevant or trendy.    He is everlasting and His love for us never changes.   But I do believe that when the Spirit moves, it can change our experience....it can help to move our heart towards Him....to soften a tough spot, to tear down a wall, to build a bridge or bring healing.     If we start out in worship with the intention of being brought to tears, then we are not really ready for what the Spirit has for us.   But remaining vulnerable to His moving, may just take us into new territory.   This morning during our worship service, there was a woman who was so overcome with joy that she spent much of one of the songs in laughter....it was the most precious thing and brought me to a place of joy because it was so evident that her laughter was the overflow of her heart.   Not a forced reaction but an involuntary response.   By nature I am an emotional person but I find it so contagious when those around me are filled with joy, gratitude, and reverence toward the Lord.   It even sometimes it can help to pull me out of a place of complacency, or distraction.    Psalm 98:4-9 says 

4

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth,

    burst into jubilant song with music;

5 

make music to the Lord with the harp,

    with the harp and the sound of singing,

6 

with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn—

    shout for joy before the Lord, the King.

7 

Let the sea resound, and everything in it,

    the world, and all who live in it.

8 

Let the rivers clap their hands,

    let the mountains sing together for joy;

9 

let them sing before the Lord,

    for he comes to judge the earth.

He will judge the world in righteousness

    and the peoples with equity 

Worship is the Bible has many uses, many places of prevalence and it is not always the cry for help or shout of joy.  Sometimes music is used as a weapon against the enemy and sometimes it is used as a battle cry.   Other times it is an overflow of praise to the King of Kings.   But I cannot help but wonder if there were not some tears of joy as this Psalm was sung.   If there wasn't some laughter as these words were lifted up the the Father.    He knows the heart of man....and if it is for Him, then let every tear, every cry, every laugh, every shout, be for His glory.