Today I left the house for the first time in a few days....For those of you who live in or around Nashville you understand why. Friday we experienced something fairly unusual for middle TN...snow...And lots of it. What we are lovingly calling snowpocalypse 2016, may not seem like much to those who live in Boston or Colorado, but to us, 6 inches of snow is a bit if an adventure to say the least. At first when I heard it was going to snow I blew it off and made plans for the weekend like normal. But on Friday morning when I looked out the window I realized that all of my plans were no longer going to happen. a state of emergency was declared and the news stations were telling us to stay home. Schools were canceled. Offices closed. I'm sure there were many who felt disappointed, perhaps even frustrated over this weather. And I can understand it completely....but on Friday afternoon when my boss told me to log out early and go play in the snow (my husband and I work from home) I couldn't help but feel like a giddy child who got to play hooky from school. So we did....my husband, my stepson and I got all dressed up, but on our warmest gear, blew up the pool floaties we had left over from summer and headed to the hill at the end of our neighborhood to do a little floaty sledding. I have to be honest....it was some of the most fun I have had in a very long time. We laughed, we played, we spent time as a family and with our neighbors. It was like a great equalizer...we were all in the same boat and we all had the same thing to do...nothing but enjoy the 6 inches of white fluffy ice that had fallen upon us.
We came home that evening tired but relaxed and filled. It was like an unplanned, spontaneous vacation that we never would have taken had it not been for the snow. And all weekend 2 things kept going through my mind....first the verse
Proverbs 16:9 In their heart humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.
Sometimes the Lord directs us in more serious matters. Sometimes He leads us into deep water and calls us to trust Him.
Sometimes it's just in the little things where He stops us, halts our plans, and all we can do is go with the flow and make the best of it. Finding the blessings in the change of plans.
The second thing that kept going through my mind was this song
"You're a good good Father, it's who You are, It's who You are, and I'm loved by You, it's who I am, it's who I am"
This morning I was scheduled to sing in the chapel on the worship team at my church but could not get my car out of the spot I had parked in due to ice, so I stayed home and watched church online. In the sanctuary, (where they film the service to air online) they sang that song. It nearly brought me to tears as our pastor got up and began to speak of the Love God has for us. The great love that has nothing to do with who we are or what we are capable of. It has nothing to do with how busy we are or what we plan for our weekend. That He simply loves us because He is love and He chose to love us.
This weekend....to me.....was a sample of that sweet love. I felt His love as I spent a weekend of time with my family. I felt His love as I looked out at the beauty of the quiet, white snow. I felt His love as we spent time fellowshipping with friends. I hope that you are able to sense His sweet love this week....wherever you are. Whether you are surrounded by inches (or feet) of snow or just going about your week as normal. He is our good good Father, And we are loved by Him....It's who we are.
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
Why Music
I really believe that being a musician is not for the faint of heart. Throughout my life I can recall many moments where I thought about walking away....pursuing something else, something easier. Something with a clear cut path to success, or at least to a clear cut path. It always seemed so much easier, simpler...But the Lord has always led me back to music in one way or another. It's no secret that it is hard to make a living in the music industry unless you are a big time artist or a writer for that big time artist. Even having the right connections doesn't matter as much as it use to. But for those of us who feel that call....it doesn't matter. That's the thing about music....it's a calling not a profession. I have not to date, been able to achieve any kind of living off of my music, and who knows if I ever will but there are a few things the Lord has been reminding me lately.
The first is that the enemy wants to stop us.
It is thought that Lucifer was a leader of music in heaven before pride led to his fall. Isaiah 14:11 says "All your pomp has been brought down to the grave, along with the noise of your harps; Maggots are spread out beneath you and worms cover you" Music is also a very prevalent form of warfare, worship, and ministry in Scripture. The whole book of Psalms is the written music of David and other musicians of of that day. Many times in the new testament we are encouraged to sing and worship the Lord with music. Ephesians 5:19 says "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord". It is clear that music is valued highly int he kingdom of heaven. That the Lord designed it for His glory alone. The Israelite's sang praises when the Pharaoh and his men were overcome by the red sea and they used music to bring down the walls of Jericho and defeat the city. It only makes sense then that the enemy would not only want to stop this from happening, but also to turn it away from the Father and keep it from furthering His kingdom. Lucifer was kicked out of heaven for pride. He wanted to be higher then God....what is worse for him then for the children of God, praising God with the enemy's very gifting. I have often wondered if that is why the mainstream culture seems to sustain much more lasting success then in the Christian music industry....The spiritual battles that come with being a Christian musician. Don't get me wrong...I love Adele as much as the next person, but as a believer I feel a great responsibility to use my gifting to point others to the cross. We know that the war is not against flesh and blood and have to keep up the fight. Not get discouraged and keep pushing forward whether it means singing for 1 person in an empty venue, or leading worship for thousands on a Sunday morning....we do not know this side of heaven what is happening during those moments. We simply must obey the calling.
The second thing the Lord reminded me of today is that the body needs all parts to function.
I used to think in order to be a musician, it meant I had to be in the big time. Successful, famous, traveling the world. Of course I wanted to bring glory to the Lord but it only counted if it looked a certain way and fit the "dream" I had envisioned. This morning at church I was scheduled to sing on the Chapel worship team. We have two locations on the campus for people to choose from. A main sanctuary seating around 2000 and then the chapel seating a max of around 300. The chapel is an auditorium on the opposite side of the campus from the main sanctuary. Designed for sports and other activities for kids during the week and then transition into an overflow room on Sunday morning. It has a separate worship team and then the real-time sermon is telecast on a large screen that hangs from the sealing. Depending on the Sunday the chapel has anywhere from a few hundred people to as few as 5 or 6 people who come in to worship in the darker, quieter atmosphere. As you can imagine, on those smaller Sundays, knowing the majority of the church members and pastors are together on the other side of campus, it can be easy to fall into the thinking that "Why am I down here?" "Is this even beneficial?" "This just doesn't feel the same". But I was reminded this morning as I drove to church, that the Church is a body. It needs all the parts to function. And I have no idea what God may have done this morning in the lives of the few that chose to sit in the Chapel. I believe strongly that what He did was not the same as what happened over in the sanctuary nor was it meant to be. He had a separate agenda and we were the tools He used to carry that out. We are all given gifts as children of God but we do not determine how He uses us. I've learned to appreciate the tender and sweet moments the Lord creates in those unassuming places...and if I really want to let Him use me, I can't put parameters on what that looks like.
Lastly, We have a responsibility.
I think of that passage in scripture, Matthew 25:14-30, where the Lord tells the parable about the man who leaves for a time and gives money to his 3 servants before he goes. He returns to find that 2 of those men have invested and made a profit. The 1 who buried the money and returned only the amount given to him, that man's money was taken away and he was thrown out of the safety and protection of the house of his master. I do not want to be like the man who hid away what my Master has given me out of fear or laziness. I want to honor Him by being like the faithful servants who took what they had and used it wisely.
We have a great calling to sing and play for the glory and honor of the King. Let's use our gifts for His glory and fight the battle...the warfare we were called to fight with bravery and sensitivity to the Spirit. Let's take back the music that belongs to the Lord and make Him famous.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
A Year of Victory
This morning in church ( I go to Grace Chapel in Leapers Fork TN.) our pastor spoke on Fasting. He spoke of understanding the importance fasting had in the life of Christ. The depth of endurance, and devotion it showed and the victory over the enemy it led to.
I thought I would share a quick story with you of one of my own experiences with fasting. I hope that this encourages, and perhaps, inspires the practice of fasting. I share this not to boast or appear in any way like I have it all together (because believe me I do not)....but because I believe in the power of fasting and in the faithfulness of God for those who obey His word. And I pray His name be glorified through what He has done in my life.
Over the last few years, since getting married to my husband in July of 2013, we have been living in an apartment. I own a townhouse in Spring Hill, TN, that I currently rent out so that we can be closer to my husbands son/my stepson Christian in Nashville. We are hoping and praying to buy a house this year and have been working on saving money and making plans. I recently decided to fast over the situation and prayerfully chose rather then food, to fast something that for me, was very difficult to give up for a month....shopping. (Yes you read that right I said shopping lol). During the month of fasting I would pray over the situation, over the Lord's provision and protection and for His will to be done and His name to be glorified.
A few weeks ago, I received a text from my renters that the heater was not working. Since owning the home for the last 10 years it has broken no less then 5 times and so, frustrated, I called a technician out to take a look. A few hours later I received a phone call and was told that the repairs would cost upwards of $3000, or I could get a new unit for $5300. I sat there silent for a moment trying to take it all in. trying to understand why the Lord would allow this...after all I fasted. I sacrificed something that was difficult for me in order to the show the Lord how serious I was about our future and this is what I get? How could this be? Finally I responded that I would get the new unit as I knew that a fix would only last so long. meanwhile in my mind ..."Why God? This is not what should be happening right now! This is the opposite of what we need!"
Later that day a man came over to help me with the the financing of the new unit and after a few hours I was financed for $5300 dollars to cover the cost, with a monthly fee of $89. As I tried to process this new expense and figure out how we were going to pay for it, I battled trying not to blame God, to get mad at God for allowing this, but my heart knew that He was bigger then any amount of money. Bigger then any trial that could come my way so I prayed "Lord I am sorry for jumping to the desperation rather then trusting You. Please provide, please make a way." Now I probably should have mentioned this before, but I had a storage unit from when we moved into the apartment containing a baby grand piano. It would not fit into our apartment but was not something I was willing to give up so for the last few years it has been costing me $89 dollars a month to rent. Yes....$89, the same amount as the new loan. Well the Lord reminded me of this and I heard Him say very clearly "post on Facebook to see if anyone would be willing to babysit the piano for the next year or so", I said "no one is going to have an empty room that they just happen to be willing to fill with someone else's piano....but ok God" so I did.....within minutes a good friend of mine from church private messaged me that they would love to have it in their home. I could not believe it!
That Sunday at church I ran into her and so we chatted for a few minutes and as it turns out, her mom, who lives with them had had surgery a few months ago. They had to convert an office area into a room for her because the stairs were to difficult. A few weeks ago her mom recovered enough to move upstairs and her old room was now an empty room in their home. My friend had been writing a list of bills that they needed to pay in 2016 and the Lord told her to make a seperate list alongside the needs of her wants. She told God there was no point as they would not be able to afford them but did it anyway.....the first item.....a baby grand piano. Her husband teaches piano lessons and they dreamed of putting one in that room! While the piano will one day return to me in the house I continue to pray for, I am amazed and blown away at the incredible answer to prayer we both received through something that began as such a stressful and expensive trial. I know there is more to come with this story and that God is going to use the piano for His glory in the months to come...I also know that this may be just the beginning of what He will do through obedient prayer and fasting but I want to shout His faithfulness from the roof tops!
After the 40 days and the 40 nights of Jesus fasting in the wilderness, He was tempted and had victory over the enemy. I want victory in my life. This story, is an example to me of the victory God can bring from a hopeless situation....lets make 2016 a year of victory.
I thought I would share a quick story with you of one of my own experiences with fasting. I hope that this encourages, and perhaps, inspires the practice of fasting. I share this not to boast or appear in any way like I have it all together (because believe me I do not)....but because I believe in the power of fasting and in the faithfulness of God for those who obey His word. And I pray His name be glorified through what He has done in my life.
Over the last few years, since getting married to my husband in July of 2013, we have been living in an apartment. I own a townhouse in Spring Hill, TN, that I currently rent out so that we can be closer to my husbands son/my stepson Christian in Nashville. We are hoping and praying to buy a house this year and have been working on saving money and making plans. I recently decided to fast over the situation and prayerfully chose rather then food, to fast something that for me, was very difficult to give up for a month....shopping. (Yes you read that right I said shopping lol). During the month of fasting I would pray over the situation, over the Lord's provision and protection and for His will to be done and His name to be glorified.
A few weeks ago, I received a text from my renters that the heater was not working. Since owning the home for the last 10 years it has broken no less then 5 times and so, frustrated, I called a technician out to take a look. A few hours later I received a phone call and was told that the repairs would cost upwards of $3000, or I could get a new unit for $5300. I sat there silent for a moment trying to take it all in. trying to understand why the Lord would allow this...after all I fasted. I sacrificed something that was difficult for me in order to the show the Lord how serious I was about our future and this is what I get? How could this be? Finally I responded that I would get the new unit as I knew that a fix would only last so long. meanwhile in my mind ..."Why God? This is not what should be happening right now! This is the opposite of what we need!"
Later that day a man came over to help me with the the financing of the new unit and after a few hours I was financed for $5300 dollars to cover the cost, with a monthly fee of $89. As I tried to process this new expense and figure out how we were going to pay for it, I battled trying not to blame God, to get mad at God for allowing this, but my heart knew that He was bigger then any amount of money. Bigger then any trial that could come my way so I prayed "Lord I am sorry for jumping to the desperation rather then trusting You. Please provide, please make a way." Now I probably should have mentioned this before, but I had a storage unit from when we moved into the apartment containing a baby grand piano. It would not fit into our apartment but was not something I was willing to give up so for the last few years it has been costing me $89 dollars a month to rent. Yes....$89, the same amount as the new loan. Well the Lord reminded me of this and I heard Him say very clearly "post on Facebook to see if anyone would be willing to babysit the piano for the next year or so", I said "no one is going to have an empty room that they just happen to be willing to fill with someone else's piano....but ok God" so I did.....within minutes a good friend of mine from church private messaged me that they would love to have it in their home. I could not believe it!
That Sunday at church I ran into her and so we chatted for a few minutes and as it turns out, her mom, who lives with them had had surgery a few months ago. They had to convert an office area into a room for her because the stairs were to difficult. A few weeks ago her mom recovered enough to move upstairs and her old room was now an empty room in their home. My friend had been writing a list of bills that they needed to pay in 2016 and the Lord told her to make a seperate list alongside the needs of her wants. She told God there was no point as they would not be able to afford them but did it anyway.....the first item.....a baby grand piano. Her husband teaches piano lessons and they dreamed of putting one in that room! While the piano will one day return to me in the house I continue to pray for, I am amazed and blown away at the incredible answer to prayer we both received through something that began as such a stressful and expensive trial. I know there is more to come with this story and that God is going to use the piano for His glory in the months to come...I also know that this may be just the beginning of what He will do through obedient prayer and fasting but I want to shout His faithfulness from the roof tops!
After the 40 days and the 40 nights of Jesus fasting in the wilderness, He was tempted and had victory over the enemy. I want victory in my life. This story, is an example to me of the victory God can bring from a hopeless situation....lets make 2016 a year of victory.
Monday, January 4, 2016
A Different Approach
Here I am, in my dining room on a Sunday afternoon...tired and contemplating a nap after a morning of sweet worship and fellowship... listening to my step son and his buddy as they build unique creations in a world of colorful pixels on the Xbox. Sunday Jan 3rd. The first Sunday of the year. Seems to carry the weight of a a year past and the promise of a year to come. And on this first Sunday of a new year, I am beggining the journey of a blogger. Something I have thought of doing many times before. And even though I am excited and honored by the challenge that Gene has asked me to begin, there is something about writing thoughts in a form other then song, that can be intimidating to a person who is use to the safety of verse, rhyme, and melody. I will not make any promises to keep you on the edge of your seat with amazing heroic stories, but honesty and vulnerability I have plenty of lol....So here it goes...
so many of us as musicians have dreams that not all people would understand. Dreams that aren't always tangible. Can't always be achieved just by working hard or being the best. Desires that are not satisfied by any other type of work or project. A creativity that cannot be turned off. Sometimes...if you are anything like me, this leads to a pressure for constantly growing and doing more, while trying to use my gifting in a way that pleases the Lord. Sometimes I struggle to find the balance between allowing the Lord to lead and the 'doing' that goes with the territory of being an artist.
A couple of days ago....New years day to be exact, I had trouble falling asleep. Now before you start thinking "well that is totally normal" For me it isn't. I sleep like a rock. Once my head hits the pillow I am usually out within minutes and only wake to the sound of an alarm. So this was odd to me at first. Then I began to pray. I prayed for my family, my husband, the coming year. Then, very sweetly the Lord said to me "I missed you, I wanted to spend time with you". The next morning when I woke up, I realized that lately, I had not been spending very much time with the Lord. The hustle and bustle of the holidays, traveling to visit family, participating in the Christmas production at my church, all while working 2 jobs and taking care of my family...all wonderful things but things that were distracting me from time with the Lord. I started thinking about this year and everything that I was hoping for and dreaming for. All of the goals I have set for myself. All of the new years resolutions I had made. All of the striving. All of the planning. all of the worry and stress. Will we be able to buy a house this year? What direction should I take my music? I need to do more, try harder, be friendlier, write more songs, make more connections, do do do do do.
It was then that the Lord, very gently and very clearly said to me,
"Seek Me First"
This stopped me in my tracks.
All of a sudden it all became so simple.
Acts 17:24-28 says
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything. Rather, He Himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man He made all the nations, that they should inhabit the wholes earth; and He marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek Him and find Him, though He is no far from any of us. For in Him we live and move and have our being."
God made us. He appointed us to a certain time for a certain reason. He knew what moment in life would lead to our finding and accepting His grace. He knew what moment in history we would be, with His strength, the most affective for His kingdom. In Him we have all we need. In Him we move and have our being. I find this so comforting. So very relieving. Does this mean that I no longer have to work hard or make plans or grow out of my comfort zone? Absolutely not...but I do believe that seeking Him...FIRST, and foremost, will illuminate unnecessary striving. To walk in the path He has for us...with no fear, or doubt, or comparison. Knowing that His purpose above all, will open doors that need opening, open hearts that need receiving, and give us the courage and wisdom we need for the calling He has paced on each of our lives. To be a vessel for the love and grace of the Father, to seek His face, and let Him take care of the rest.
so many of us as musicians have dreams that not all people would understand. Dreams that aren't always tangible. Can't always be achieved just by working hard or being the best. Desires that are not satisfied by any other type of work or project. A creativity that cannot be turned off. Sometimes...if you are anything like me, this leads to a pressure for constantly growing and doing more, while trying to use my gifting in a way that pleases the Lord. Sometimes I struggle to find the balance between allowing the Lord to lead and the 'doing' that goes with the territory of being an artist.
A couple of days ago....New years day to be exact, I had trouble falling asleep. Now before you start thinking "well that is totally normal" For me it isn't. I sleep like a rock. Once my head hits the pillow I am usually out within minutes and only wake to the sound of an alarm. So this was odd to me at first. Then I began to pray. I prayed for my family, my husband, the coming year. Then, very sweetly the Lord said to me "I missed you, I wanted to spend time with you". The next morning when I woke up, I realized that lately, I had not been spending very much time with the Lord. The hustle and bustle of the holidays, traveling to visit family, participating in the Christmas production at my church, all while working 2 jobs and taking care of my family...all wonderful things but things that were distracting me from time with the Lord. I started thinking about this year and everything that I was hoping for and dreaming for. All of the goals I have set for myself. All of the new years resolutions I had made. All of the striving. All of the planning. all of the worry and stress. Will we be able to buy a house this year? What direction should I take my music? I need to do more, try harder, be friendlier, write more songs, make more connections, do do do do do.
It was then that the Lord, very gently and very clearly said to me,
"Seek Me First"
This stopped me in my tracks.
All of a sudden it all became so simple.
Acts 17:24-28 says
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything. Rather, He Himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man He made all the nations, that they should inhabit the wholes earth; and He marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek Him and find Him, though He is no far from any of us. For in Him we live and move and have our being."
God made us. He appointed us to a certain time for a certain reason. He knew what moment in life would lead to our finding and accepting His grace. He knew what moment in history we would be, with His strength, the most affective for His kingdom. In Him we have all we need. In Him we move and have our being. I find this so comforting. So very relieving. Does this mean that I no longer have to work hard or make plans or grow out of my comfort zone? Absolutely not...but I do believe that seeking Him...FIRST, and foremost, will illuminate unnecessary striving. To walk in the path He has for us...with no fear, or doubt, or comparison. Knowing that His purpose above all, will open doors that need opening, open hearts that need receiving, and give us the courage and wisdom we need for the calling He has paced on each of our lives. To be a vessel for the love and grace of the Father, to seek His face, and let Him take care of the rest.
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