A Different Approach

Here I am, in my dining room on a Sunday afternoon...tired and contemplating a nap after a morning of sweet worship and fellowship... listening to my step son and his buddy as they build unique creations in a world of colorful pixels on the Xbox.    Sunday Jan 3rd.   The first Sunday of the year.   Seems to carry the weight of a a year past and the promise of a year to come.  And on this first Sunday of a new year, I am beggining the journey of a blogger.  Something I have thought of doing many times before.   And even though I am excited and honored by the challenge that Gene has asked me to begin, there is something about writing thoughts in a form other then song, that can be intimidating to a person who is use to the safety of verse, rhyme, and melody.  I will not make any promises to keep you on the edge of your seat with amazing heroic stories, but honesty and vulnerability I have plenty of lol....So here it goes...

so many of us as musicians have dreams that not all people would understand.   Dreams that aren't always tangible.   Can't always be achieved just by working hard or being the best.   Desires that are not satisfied by any other type of work or project.   A creativity that cannot be turned off.   Sometimes...if you are anything like me, this leads to a pressure for constantly growing and doing more, while trying to use my gifting in a way that pleases the Lord.   Sometimes I struggle to find the balance between allowing the Lord to lead and the 'doing' that goes with the territory of being an artist.


A couple of days ago....New years day to be exact, I had trouble falling asleep.  Now before you start thinking "well that is totally normal" For me it isn't.   I sleep like a rock.  Once my head hits the pillow I am usually out within minutes and only wake to the sound of an alarm.    So this was odd to me at first.   Then I began to pray.   I prayed for my family, my husband, the coming year.  Then, very sweetly the Lord said to me "I missed you, I wanted to spend time with you".    The next morning when I woke up, I realized that lately, I had not been spending very much time with the Lord.    The hustle and bustle of the holidays, traveling to visit family, participating in the Christmas production at my church, all while working 2 jobs and taking care of my family...all wonderful things but things that were distracting me from time with the Lord.    I started thinking about this year and everything that I was hoping for and dreaming for.    All of the goals I have set for myself.   All of the new years resolutions I had made.     All of the striving.   All of the planning.   all of the worry and stress.    Will we be able to buy a house this year?   What direction should I take my music?    I need to do more, try harder, be friendlier, write more songs, make more connections, do do do do do.
It was then that the Lord, very gently and very clearly said to me,

"Seek Me First"


This stopped me in my tracks.  

All of a sudden it all became so simple.

Acts 17:24-28 says
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands.   And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything.  Rather, He Himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.  From one man He made all the nations, that they should inhabit the wholes earth; and He marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.    God did this so that they would seek Him and find Him, though He is no far from any of us.  For in Him we live and move and have our being."

God made us.  He appointed us to a certain time for a certain reason.   He knew what moment in life would lead to our finding and accepting His grace.  He knew what moment in history we would be, with His strength, the most affective for His kingdom.    In Him we have all we need.  In Him we move and have our being.   I find this so comforting.   So very relieving.    Does this mean that I no longer have to work hard or make plans or grow out of my comfort zone?  Absolutely not...but I do believe that seeking Him...FIRST, and foremost, will illuminate unnecessary striving.    To walk in the path He has for us...with no fear, or doubt, or comparison.  Knowing that His purpose above all, will open doors that need opening, open hearts that need receiving, and give us the courage and wisdom we need for the calling He has paced on each of our lives.   To be a vessel for the love and grace of the Father, to seek His face, and let Him take care of the rest.