Often times in Long term relationships, friendship or romantic, you reach a point where there is a shift that takes place. You move from a learning to a knowing. From an unfamiliarity to a familiarity. Where most of the questions have turned to answers, roots have been planted, and the love has developed into a foundational element of the relationship. No longer a question mark, but a truth. Love becomes more about the act of showing rather than proving or earning. There is a security in this kind of love. But love never starts out this way. And isn't always an easy path to get to. Even when you do arrive at this kind of love, It requires a lot of time, attention, and work to keep it strong.
I was thinking about my husband recently. How our relationship has grown over the years. We are both very stubborn, and while that most definitely presents its challenges, there is a hidden blessing in that neither one of us are quitters. Neither one of us run when faced with difficulties. We fight for each other and push each other. This has helped to build a foundational element of security in the love between us, over the past 9 years. We are by no means professionals at marriage, nor do we have the best marriage possible. But it has really helped me to see more of God's love for me in watching my husband love, and watching our relationship grow.
I believe God designed marriage as an earthly example of His love toward us and desire for intimate relationship with His people. And while our relationships contain many cracks and holes, It can help us to see a tangible picture of what His love looks like.
He doesn't give up on us, or turn His back when we turn ours. He doesn't deny us grace because we make a mistake or hold against us the things we do that are not honoring to Him. He loves us just the same, through difficult circumstances, Joy's and pain, heartache and victory. Even when it doesnt make sense, the love remains.
One of the big differences in His love for us though, is that He loved us first. Before we even knew Him, before we ever had a chance to fall in love with Him. Before we ever heard His voice or read His words. He already loves us, and He has already proven it. His word says "We love Him because He first loved us" But that's it really...there is no catch! We dont have to do anything to earn it or deserve it. He already knows us more intimately than we could ever hope to know our best friend or significant other, and loves us so much that He chose to give His life, the ultimate sacrifice of love for us. That is what makes His love for us so incredible. Even the best human relationships have struggles, and difficult seasons. Even the most dedicated, loyal people fail at times to love unconditionally. His love for us is complete. His love is perfect. Whole. Full. Safe. Unchanging.
I think the part that amazes me the most when I think about our Savior is that He would have died just for me. Even if I was the only person in the earth. And He would have died for you just the same. That amazes me, and I hope it always amazes me. To love others this way is the call we have on our lives. Our purpose really. Not just our best friend or spouse but to love others as we love ourselves. To love our neighbors as ourselves. To love as Jesus loves. And He doesn't tell us to "Do what I say and not as I do", in fact His word says in 1st John 3:19 "This is how we know that what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.". And even more, He has given us all we need to love the way He loves, through the power of the Hoy Spirit.
People don't always seem lovable. Sometimes they really aren't from human standards. And frankly it can be an inconvenience to love others well....But I think the conviction level rises for me when I think about the fact that I just turned 34, which means I have now been on this earth longer than Jesus was. And have I spent this time loving others? Or am I more worried about the things I need, and want, and care about? Have I done everything I can do to love well, not just when its convenient, easy, or makes me look good?
So here is the tough question part..... How would marriages improve if we loved our spouse the way Jesus calls us to love? How would our friendships improve? Relationships with kids or neighbors? Even the way we treat people we see on the street or in the market. What about our enemies? What if we chose to love them?
What if we woke up each morning and asked the Lord, how can I love well today? What would change?
Will it be easy? Absolutely not! Will it require sacrifice? 100% of the time! But will it be worth it? Without question! Just imagine the impact it would have in the church and in the world around us, if we started living in the true calling and purpose of a believer. To "Love not with words or speech but with actions and in truth". Our world needs it now more than ever.
1 John 3:1a "See what great love the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"
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