3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”
Jesus goes on to explain the meaning of his parable.
18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19 When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path.20 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. 23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
As I was reading this I heard the Lord say to me ever so gently "Read this again and be honest" Um....I know what that means. Whenever the Lord has me read a passage a second time, it pretty much means that the Lord has something He wants to tell me. So I read it again. I realized that in my pride I had read through this passage assuming I was good soil. I mean after all I love the Lord, I try to live a life of purpose and be a fruitful follower. And while I know I'm not perfect, how could I be bad soil?? Then I noticed the description of the seed falling on the thorns....the worries of life? deceitfulness of wealth? How can it be that those struggles had totally passed under my radar. Now I am going to be totally honest and vulnerable here for a minute....part of my struggle as a singer/songwriter is that, as you may also experience, the desire to be known. the desire to be successful. Success in the worlds eyes as a musician means to be famous. To be wealthy. To have hit songs, awards, and esteem. And while I can tell myself I don't really care about those things, I would be lying if I had not thought a time or two hundred about all of the things I have yet to accomplish. I mean, "why give such gifts and then not use them?", I would think. I would be fooling myself if I did not admit my true motivation from time to time with decisions I have made or opportunities I have taken. And while it certainly doesn't mean fame and fortune are bad things, and the Lord can and does use those platforms for His glory....I realized in that moment that for me, it had become less about seeking His purpose and plan and more about the platform. Like somehow I was a failure as a musician if I did not achieve a certain level of success.
That Sunday morning, I was on the worship team at my church. We were in the middle of worship when I heard the Lord say:
"Jesus chose Humility"
I stood there....tears in my eyes, my heart instantly aware of just how weighty and yet simultaneously gentle this truth was. I realized in that moment that Jesus, the Son of God, the mighty and powerful Messiah, could have refused to come to earth without a grand birth. He could have demanded royal fanfare with musicians and a parade, surrounded by gifts and riches. He could have required a castle with servants, and guards, to meet His every whim and protect Him from those seeking His harm. He could have seen that everyone come to Him to be healed and travel across the land with their sick and dying. He could have worn a golden crown rather then a crown of thorns....All of these things less then what He deserved, all of these things less then the glory He left in heaven. But He instead chose humility. He chose to be born in a stable, surrounded by hay, and animals. He chose to live a life of a quiet carpenter, and He chose to walk the dirt roads with His disciples, finding those in need. Spending countless hours serving and praying and healing. Putting Himself below those He came for to the point of death. He chose this because He knew...He understood that it would mean the ultimate glory for His Father in heaven. He knew that God's ultimate plan of redemption could not happen any other way. He knew, that the sacrificial life would lead to the salvation of every son and daughter of God. And only through His humble life and painful death could we be with the Father.
Who am I.....Who am I to think that what I "deserve" is more important then the Lord's purpose and plan with my life? Where am I choosing my way instead of the Lord's way because maybe it just isn't glamorous enough for me? Are the distractions and worries of this life turning into thorns? Am I missing what the Father is doing? This season, as I think on the birth of my Savior...I want to choose humility. To be the good soil. For His glory and honor and magnitude, get out of the way and let Him use me however He needs to use me. To be more like Jesus. Perhaps a crop is waiting to be sown, if I will choose to stop determining the ways in which the Lord can use me, and instead let Him use me right where I am.
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